Nobody likes criticism. Nobody likes constructive criticism.
I mean, I don’t know anyone who likes for people to tell them how bad of a job they are doing — or how they can improve in the job they are doing. And NOBODY really likes to get criticism when it concerns a reflection of their personal character. We live in such a politically correct and let’s-not-hurt-anyone’s-feelings-unless-we-really-have-to-culture, that the art of giving and receiving criticism is something that has been lost in our day.
We give it poorly. And, oh, do we receive it poorly, as well!
Over the past 25 years of my life, I have been given criticism hundreds of times. Coupled with playing basketball from the time I could dribble to the time I graduated college and being around some fantastic leaders, has all allowed me to dive into what working on a team really is all about — working together for the good of a common goal. Not only that, but it has allowed me several opportunities to experience conflict, tensions, and the receiving and giving of criticism. Mostly constructive — but at times personal.
From my experience of giving criticism, receiving criticism, and watching criticism be given, I want to give you, what I think, are some good guidelines for giving criticism.
Let’s start with the 5 ways not to give criticism:
1. Do not give criticism to someone when emotions are high.
2. Do not give criticism out of a critical spirit. Really dig deep into why you are giving it.
3. Do not give criticism to someone you do not have a rapport or relationship with. You might get jacked.
4. Think very carefully about giving criticism to the person that signs your paychecks. If you cannot work for that person then you might need to think about finding another job.
5. Do not give criticism in public, group settings, or in front of other people.
What are 5 ways to effectively give criticism?
1. Pray through it. Pray about whether the constructive criticism you are about to give is beneficial for the growth of the person receiving it, the growth of the organization, and the growth of the team.
2. Give it in person. Never give it via email, text message, or other lame social media medium (Matthew 18).
3. Always ask the person whom you are about to give criticism to if you can give it to them. It always better received if you ask the person first. For instance, you can say something such as, “Greg, I was wondering if I could make an observation in your life…”
4. Give it with a gentle spirit But give it boldly.
5. Say what you need to say and then move on. Don’t keep saying it. Don’t keep bringing it up unless you have permission to. If nothing changes, again, responsibly move on.
